My snail mail got more interesting after my 50th birthday. First the AARP letters began to arrive. Then, life insurance deals filled my mailbox. But last week, last week...
I got a flyer from my health insurance provider (tastefully concealed in an envelope). This flyer offered me an alternative to the normal colonoscopy screening for colon cancer at age 50-- a collect-your-poop-at-home-and-mail-it-to-us-for-screening kit. I kid you not. Modern medicine now offers an alternative to the grueling procedure of cleaning out your colon for a camera to take a trip up the down staircase! Apparently, this test detects irregularities that might indicate the need for a full colonoscopy.
While I find this good news for my colon and my pocketbook, I cannot describe the feeling that arose within me as I realized that I had been sent this flyer in the mail! Once in my life, I received letters from colleges. Once in my life, I received diaper coupons. Now, I receive discount medical procedure sales brochures.
For one moment, I felt old. Then, I laughed and laughed and laughed at the wonderful hilarity of it all. My colon and I feel just fine.
LEDs, icicle lights, grid lights, inflatable figures, garlands, wreaths, sculptures, snowmen, Santas, angels, trains, Nativity, stars, candy canes, reindeer, bows, packages, trees...
Timers, extension cords, clips, wire ties, window hangers, hooks, wires, spotlights, staple guns, ladders...
Multi-color, single color, motion lights, music coordinated lights, theme lights, broadcast signals, electric bills...
and then, the drive by traffic. My parents put up a Christmas display with over 100,000 lights, dozens of extension cords, switches, and wires. The effect is amazing. Satellites change their orbit to check it out! Children beg to drive by their house.
Hours to set up; hours to take down. This year, I think I will put a candle in my window.
Lessons I learned from being the mother of three sons:
LOVE my boys: Will, Dustin, Scott!
Writer's Block: When your imaginary friends won't talk to you!
Thanks to Cafepress.com for the humor.